Wednesday, February 22, 2012

Random Thoughts (02.22.12)

My FB post today as of 10:30 AM:

I will sleep on dry pillows now, in a bed big enough to love myself in, I will awake with these coming mornings with my eyes dry and shining full of the knowledge. I am priceless and worth nothing but honesty. I will remove the scarlet letters from my chest and take the hand of the little girl I used to be and say I'm sorry to her, I'm sorry for cheating you out of the joy YOU have always deserved. And I will wait, for a MAN to come along that can give me the truth of how much he can really love me.

For the past couple of weeks, I was so busy thinking what needs to be done to surpass my day and to keep myself busy. Then a lot of questions came into my mind. Why don’t I pause for a while and examine where am I right now? How long have I changed from being the person that I was yesterday and today? What happened to me? Am I on the right track?

I was asking a lot of questions to myself. All of a sudden, I felt tired and wanted to take a rest. Many things have happened in my life for the past few months. In fact, some of the blessings I’ve received are too good to be true. However, the past couple of weeks have been hard on me. I’ve been hard on myself too. All I know was I don’t want to feel anything anymore. I want to get rid of the pain that I have inside me not realizing I’m losing my own identity and then I started to feel sorry for myself.

Though feeling lost, I tried to pull myself together…. picked up the little pieces of me. This chapter of my life taught me to fight… that I need to be strong for myself and for the people that I care and love. I just can’t sit down and let the ghost of yesterday pull me down. I know that the sun would shine on me again. A promise of hope... A chance to start all over again and be a better version of me.

Things may not happen the way I want them to be... but I am certain that there are better plans in my life.

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